Friday, 2 January 2015
And so, that was Christmas / Goodbye 2014
I've seen several people say that they've taken down their Christmas tree and packed away their decorations already. I'm not ready to let go of Christmas though. Not just yet. I want to cling to every last tinsel strewn scrap of whimsy and make it last as long as possible.
In the dark, with only the warm twinkle of the Christmas tree lights offering a soft glow, I like to sit and quietly reflect, let thoughts come and go, memories visit and new plans form. Many seem to have had a rough year, but 2014 was on the whole a good one for me. I made big steps in my recovery, both physically and emotionally. I made the huge step of going back to work - I quit the old job I hated and started a new, part-time role. I went on my first holiday since I was sick. I began to reclaim my physical identity, by getting more tattoos and dying my hair. I was incredibly brave and faced my fear of being away from the safety net of home, by going to the USA alone. Which also meant a reunion with my best friends, who I hadn't seen for three long years. I adopted a second cat - Miss Molly Mayhem - which, as well as being a big deal in itself, was an even bigger one for me, as it involves planning for the future and trusting that I'll be here for years to come. There's no guarantee of that, but I'm starting to let hope creep in and believe that I have a future. I had my second annual mammogram and ultrasound scans in November, which 'showed no suspicious features' - two years of being cancer free feels like a big milestone and has allowed me a little space to breathe.
Finally, on the 30th December I celebrated three years with the most wonderful man. We've been through cancer, house moves, a big drop in income, the loss of beloved old pets and the arrival of new ones. As far as testing times go, I think we've been through more than most ever will, especially at our age. And we've still never had a single argument. I think it's safe to say that we are rock solid and made for each other. I couldn't ask for more from anyone and I am so lucky to call him my own. Heart eyes forever.
So goodbye, 2014. Thank you for the good times and for letting me regrow both my hair and my Self. Here's to 2015: to more space to breathe, to new adventures, mermaid hair in the making, and a whole lot of love.
Cheers, my dears! Come along for the ride.
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